What doesn’t work:

  • Pressure
  • Rationalizing
  • Punishment

What works:

  1. Slow things down
  2. Keep the calm
  3. Listen to understand
  4. Use connection and understanding to build a solution

“the paradox of power”—namely, the harder we push the more likely we are to be met with resistance.

“Put simply, reasoning doesn’t work because people aren’t primarily reason-driven. And pressure doesn’t work because feeling like your back is up against a wall only increases emotional arousal.“